Just Wondering


is it possible to get a restraining order requiring the stalker/harasser to maintain a minimum distance of 6′ beneath the victim at all times?


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!


This explains so much:

Remember the day you moved out of your home to live on your own for the first time? I felt like that today. I signed a lease for my very own apartment for the first time in my life.

No wonder it’s such a liberal weak sister.


Hey. DUMBFUCK.  I Think You Forgot Something


Looks a little something like this?

  

Normally I wouldn’t have expected a Copyright Law Genius to reprint a copyrighted image (I guess removing the copyright from the image probably makes if Fair Use, have I got that right?), except…

Oh, yeah…now I remember:

DUMBFUCK.

How hard would it have been for a copyright law genius DUMBFUCK to follow a website’s terms of service and just…link back to the site, as requested?

Too DUMBFUCKING hard, I guess…


Projection – It’s Hard Dirty Work


THE FOLLOWING IS A PARODY OF THE POST LINKED HERE: http://thecranialvault.blogspot.com/2015/08/trolling-its-hard-dirty-work.html, WRITTEN BY WILLIAM M. SCHMALFELDT, SR.  DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK.  IT WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE HIM. 

INSTEAD, READ THE POST WHERE IT HAS BEEN ARCHIVED AS ETERNAL PROTECTION AGAINST THE INEVITABLE DELETION AND SPOLIATION OF EVIDENCE WHICH IS THE HALLMARK OF PRIDE THAT PUNCTUATES SCHMALFELDT’S PATHETIC EXISTENCE.  

SAFE LINK: https://archive.is/3foXG

Read the rest of this entry »


Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!


This is just a guess, mind you, but I would think if a DUMBFUCK who by its own admission “can’t raise its arms above shoulder level” throws a rock from its front door, the rock would be exceedingly lucky to clear the stoop, much less hit the lake.


When the Counting Man Comes A’ Callin’


I thought it might be FUN to have a look at the detritus and general foul droppings that DUMBFUCK has left in the moderated comments over the last little while.  And it might also be FUN to reminisce over the differences between what it has said publicly and what I have seen and not published until now.

On April 28 of this year, DUMBFUCK filed its Big, Stupid, Doomed LOLSuit.  For some reason that has now faded into the mists of time, it took its @GrouchyOldLib Twitter account private on May 15.  I made note of that here, suggesting that it was “50 shades of…yellow?”

The comment that appeared at 8:13 AM was a manly response that establishes something of a theme that should resonate as these posts go on:

                “Think of it more like ’50 Shades of See Your Cowardly Ass in Court.’”

Then followed the May 17 Good Morning, DUMBFUCK! Post, highlighting the existence of a couple of blogs dedicated to DUMBFUCK and its bowel movements in preparation for a colonoscopy.  Of course, those blogs have since been deleted (don’t worry, they’re archived).  The deletion was a wise decision in retrospect, because it focused almost entirely on DUMBFUCK and poop (but I repeat myself), and barely mentioned the colonoscopy and what utility the procedure serves.  Kind of sick, really, as if the subject matter was nothing but an excuse for DUMBFUCK to focus on BUTT STUFF while pretending it had a higher purpose.

On that post, a comment appeared from DUMBFUCK at 12:23 PM that repeated the theme from the previous day:

                “See you in court, Palsy Walsy!”

Three minutes later, another comment containing only a link to this very funny Dave Barry column from 2008 about his first colonoscopy.

Note that I said Dave Barry’s column (not his colon) was VERY FUNNY.  Because it was.  Dave Barry finds humor in EVERYTHING, most especially in his own life.  To do that, you really need some serious self awareness, and an ability to laugh at yourself, two things DUMBFUCK has never had.  DUMBFUCK dreams of being that funny, and wakes up in tears.

Another thing about Dave Barry’s column, besides being funny, is that it was informative.  It outlined a story of Dave’s brother, whose own colon exam resulted in a cancer diagnosis and a positive prognosis, and it also recounted his own experience with the procedure, and ended by hitting what had been the theme throughout the column:  the necessity (and relative ease) of getting a colonoscopy.

Dave Barry focused on the colonoscopy.  In a key difference, DUMBFUCK focused on its own feces to the exclusion of almost all else (hardly a surprise).

Now, I’m pushing 500 words, and it’s obvious this will require more than one post.

We’ll talk more about these comments later.


Good Afternoon, DUMBFUCK!


8-26-2015 12-23-18 PM

I KNOW, RIGHT?

Li’l ole irrelevant me could never, ever get a response from it.  It’s been doing such a superlative job of ignoring this site (wink, wink) and staying below the radar where I can’t see it (nudge, nudge).  It’s got this newfound self-control now, and it never goes silently trolling where it’s not wanted…otherwise how would it know, and why would it care who was trolling it soooo veeeery HARD?

Wait. What?

That’s a response?

Oh.

I guess it is, isn’t it?

It has called me irrelevant before, and it will call me irrelevant again.  Makes no nevermind to me.  Because all it’s told me so far today is a) it is visiting every day and b) where it is going to live.

8-26-2015 12-53-20 PM

Rule #4.

Because DUMBFUCK.

UPDATE – Irrelevant?

Let’s review: 

I trolling sooooo veeeerrrry haaaaard.  As promised.  Two weeks.

It visits every day from the Crappy WiFi Arms.  Every. Day. If it really wants me to go away…Two weeks.

I made a promise, and I will keep it, but not before it holds up its end of the deal.  But I know I’ll never have to, because…Two weeks…is impossible.

And the clock just reset again.  Two weeks.

It will stop.  I promise. The only requirement is that it goes away and stops doing this:
monkey_dance

For how long, do you think?


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