Good Morning, DUMBFUCK!


I have come to a conclusion.  We as a group should no longer be suggesting that DUMBFUCK eat a bag of dicks.

Some things are beyond the pale, and non-zombies should not be eating their own kind.


Self Awareness Fail


 
Sometimes the jokes don’t even have to write themselves.  They come pre-written.

All I have to do is point…and laugh.


Fat Man Friday



Good Evening, DUMBFUCK!


 
I know there’s NO POSSIBLE WAY that DUMBFUCK could be wrong about the court caring about only one thing, so I won’t even bother trying to explain.

I am but a humble, undead Zombie, and your ways are strange and frightening.

Plus, we make it a policy not to educate monkeys about things like [REDACTED],[REDACTED],[REDACTED] and [REDACTED], among other things.  Doing so simply reduces the amount of FUN that we can have with pointage, laughery and mockification of the DUMBFUCK.

The next couple of weeks are shaping up nicely…

Stay limber, my friends!


Earworm Wednesday!


Sorry I’m late…


Embrace The Power of “AND,” DUMBFUCK!


Which would be the better belated birthday gift to send to Wisconsin?

Choice A:

  
Choice B:

  
Choice C:  send two shirts.


Sometimes The Law Is So Simple Even A DUMBFUCK Can Understand It


But not today, obviously.

I got this photo via email:  

For those of you viewing on devices that make this image too small to read, here’s what it says:

A lawsuit has been filed against you, or the entity you represent in this court under the number shown above. A copy of the complaint is attached.
This is not a summons, or an official notice from the court. It is a request that, to avoid expenses, you waive formal service of a summons by signing and returning the enclosed waiver. To avoid these expenses, you must return the signed waiver within 30 days (give at least 30 days, or at least 60 days if the defendant is outside any judicial district of the United States) from the date shown below, which is the day this notice was sent. Two copies of the waiver form are enclosed, along with a stamped, self-addressed envelope or other prepaid means for returning one copy. You may keep the other copy.
What happens next?
If you return the signed waiver, I will file it with the court. The action will then proceed as if you had been served on the date the waiver is filed, but no summons will be served on you and you will have 60 days from the date this notice is sent (see date below) to answer the complaint (or 90 days if this notice is sent to you outside any judicial district of the United States.
If you do not return the signed waiver within the time indicated, I will arrange to have the summons and complaint served on you. And I will ask the court to require you, or the entity you represent, to pay the expenses of making service.
Please read the enclosed statement about the duty to avoid unnecessary expenses.
I certify that this request is being sent to you on the date below.

This is what it DOES NOT SAY:

I WILL ASK THE COURT TO SERVE YOU.

I WILL ASK THE COURT TO SERVE YOU AT ITS EXPENSE.

I WILL FILE A MOTION TO HAVE THE COURT ORDER YOU TO SHOW CAUSE WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF A COURT ORDER THAT NO ONE CAN PROVE YOU HAVE RECEIVED, MUCH LESS SEEN.

I WILL BEHAVE LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBFUCK WHO THINKS HE KNOWS EVERY STATUTE AND NUANCE OF THE LAW EVEN THOUGH I HAVE FILED HALF A DOZEN LAWSUITS, NOT ONE OF WHICH HAS EVEN SURVIVED A MOTION TO DISMISS.

I WILL CALL THE PARTIES WHOM I DISMISSED WITH PREJUDICE “COWARDS” WHEN IT WAS I WHO CURLED UP IN PUDDLES OF HOT FEAR PEE AT THE FIRST SIGN OF OPPOSITION.

But please, feel free to review the record of what the plaintiff has ACTUALLY done, versus what the above form says he is supposed to do.


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